50 things to do instead of self injure ♥

[ photo cred: blaqqat ]

for almost seven years, i was a cutter.

even to me, someone who engaged in that kind of behavior for so long, the word - & idea that someone could actually cause physical harm to oneself on purpose - still scares me. for someone who has never been close to someone who self injured or engaged in self injury (SI), it can sound absolutely terrifying.

however, self injury (which includes cutting, skin-picking, burning, etc.) is not as uncommon as one would think. in fact, according to a study from the late 90's, 1 in 100 Americans is a self-injurer. but, with the private nature of & the large stigma attached to self-injury, we can guess that the real number is actually much higher than that.

i didn't know a lot about cutting back when i started to do it (i don't think anybody else really did, either). i just knew that my friends did it - which is not uncommon as many studies show that self-injurers seem to stick together - but that was about it. i read about it once in a book & my mind was made up. forget marijuana or liquor - i decided razor blades were my drug of choice.

the thing about cutting is that once you start, it becomes your lifeline. once i started cutting, i felt like i didn't have any other means of survival. i either cut myself or i felt miserable. i either felt the emotional pain that came with whatever i was dealing with or inflicted physical pain on myself to distract my brain from the emotional stuff. it was black & white - cutting was not a choice, it was more like an instinct. it also wasn't as gross or horror movie-esque as it seems. cutting actually becomes a source of pleasure for those who self injure because it releases endorphins, similar to those produced by illegal drugs. i cut myself because it made me feel good.

however, as a tiny 13-year-old girl, i didn't fully grasp the damage i was causing or the emotional baggage i'd have to eventually deal with due to my years of self abuse. if i had known that there were other, more constructive ways of dealing with the myriad of mixed up teenage emotions i was experiencing, those seven years of my life might have been drastically different.

i think the first step to recovery from self injury is learning that there are other ways to cope. i created this list with that main principle in mind. self injurers need to find other sources of pleasure & also need to be able to deal with their negative emotions in other ways. i hope this list will inspire you or someone you know. i encourage all of you to please share this post with anyone who know who self injures.

♥ [01] use a sharpie & decorate a part of your body you would normally injure with tiny, pretty hearts.
♥ [02] call your best friend & vent.
♥ [03] take a pen & write - pressing as hard as you can - in a journal.
♥ [04] put on a Disney movie & remember how it felt to be young.
♥ [05] walk outside.
♥ [06] open your bedroom door.
♥ [07] drink a cup of herbal tea.
♥ [08] practice calligraphy.
♥ [09] call a friend who also self injures & might need something to distract her, too. get together.
♥ [10] eat something you love.
♥ [11] put on a bathing suit & remember how much more beautiful your arms/legs/stomach look without fresh scars.
♥ [12] re-organize your room.
♥ [13] leave your house.
♥ [14] buy a henna kit & practice giving your skin beautiful non-permanent designs.
♥ [15] punch something. hard.
♥ [16] blow up balloons. pop them.
♥ [17] give yourself a hug.
♥ [18] file your nails.
♥ [19] envision your perfect life. write about it.
♥ [20] read about the law of attraction.
♥ [21] put on hot pink lipstick & kiss random parts of your body. apologize for hurting it.
♥ [22] tear up an old stuffed animal that you no longer feel attached to.
♥ [23] pay the 15 minute game. say you won't cut for 15 minutes & when that 15 is up & you still have the urge, repeat the game.
♥ [24] remember this quote from charles bukowski: "if you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose."
♥ [25] play with an animal. go out & buy a small one like a hamster if you don't have one. give it love.
♥[26] buy yourself a book of logic problems. solve them.
♥ [27] buy yourself a new pair of shoes & play paolo nuitini's "new shoes" while dancing around in them.
♥ [28] pop bubble wrap.
♥ [29] make your own list of 50 things to do instead of self injure.
♥ [30] google quotes by anyone you find inspirational (try william blake, courtney love, marilyn monroe)
♥ [31] read this short story by francesca lia block.
♥ [32] cook something.
♥ [33] hold an ice cube to your wrist (or wherever you self injure) for one minute.
♥ [34] if you don't have one already, start a diary. whenever you feel the urge to cut, write instead. retrain your brain.
♥ [35] try the rubber band trick & wear a rubber band on your wrist. snap the band lightly whenever you feel the urge to cut.
♥ [36] exercise! (try yogatoday.com for a free yoga class once a week)
♥ [37] play dress up. take lots & lots of time. be meticulous about your makeup.
♥ [38] throw away all the old clothes you hate.
♥ [39] write someone you dislike a letter. tear it up.
♥ [40] play wii sports.
♥ [41] masturbate. for real.
♥ [42] music can seriously affect your mood. listen to the grateful dead.
♥ [43] while you're at it, create a whole grateful dead radio station @ pandora.
♥ [44] then, make "touch of grey" your new cell phone ring tone @ myxertones.
♥ [45] hang out with someone. anyone.
♥ [46] play dance dance revolution.
♥ [47] take a hot shower.
♥ [48] watch a scary movie.
♥ [49] scream.
♥ [50] play with play doh. create something.